


What Happened To The Beta Masters Fan Club

by mikawritesthings



Category: Original Work, The Magnus Archives
Genre: Epistolary Format, Fan-Leitner, Fandom Allusions & Cliches & References, Fandom Culture, Gen, Self-Indulgent, also the major character death is all OCs don't worry, but don't worry folks i have a plan this time, fandom wank, internet drama, non-explicit mentions of sex, non-explicit mentions of smut, nonexistent books, the inherent Hunt qualities of wank, this one's threatening to be long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:22:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 7,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27169261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikawritesthings/pseuds/mikawritesthings
Summary: From Jurgen Leitner's failed attempt at a digital library. Notable for continuing to update after Leitner abandoned the digital library project. Regarding Internet drama surrounding an infamous piece of fanfiction.
Comments: 28
Kudos: 37





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Northern Caves](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3659997) by [nostalgebraist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nostalgebraist/pseuds/nostalgebraist). 



> Hoofh, alright, I think I've worked on this one long enough to start posting it. Anyway, here's my attempt at writing a Leitner! This'll be updating somewhat frequently, so keep an eye out. Or an Eye out. ;}  
> P.S., there are a few canon characters in this fic that I didn't mention in the tags. You'll have to guess which ones.

**EX LIBRIS DIGITALIS**

**JURGEN LEITNER**

**1.**

Those of you outside the UFO Deceptors fandom have likely heard tell of the “werewolf fanfiction drama that led to a real-life murder”. You might know the details of the crime itself; the idea that a piece of drama so archetypically superficial could lead to a crime so heinous has been the source of endless rubbernecking and dissection, by everyone from news media outlets to true-crime podcasters to amateur Internet sleuths on Tumblr.

The outline is familiar: On March 4th, 2008, six young adults who knew one another from the Internet met up in Vermoregaine, Vermont. They planned to seek out their favorite fanfiction author at her suburban home, interview her about the fics themselves, and publish said interview on their forum for the rest of the author’s followers back home. However, things took a much darker turn when, in the woods that lined his neighborhood, one of these friends pulled a knife on the rest. It quickly turned out that the rest had brought knives as well. There was a gruesome struggle, the play-by-play of which I am not prepared to share here. That night, five of the friends’ bodies were found dead of knife wounds on the forest floor; the sixth was nowhere to be found, and continues to be presumed dead.

Far less investigated, however, is the backstory of the crime: the history of the discussion forum where the interpersonal drama took place, the events that led up to this meetup, and the tangled web of trolling and petty conflict that had its tendrils crisscrossing every single person involved. What’s especially key is the fic at the center: an infamous romance-novel-style smutfic named  _ The Beta Masters _ .

I am here, with help from a few former members of the  _ Beta Masters _ Fan Club, to tell this oft-neglected side of the story through the eyes of someone who was present to watch it happen. I should know; I was one of the moderators.

Let us begin with the basics.


	2. Part Two- The Fanfiction Itself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm posting the first 3 chapters at once, to ensure better reading flow. I'm still dividing them up, though, so this fic doesn't become a wall of text.

**2.**

In 2006, on then-popular fanfic platform LiveJournal, an author named Arachne published the first chapter of a UFO Deceptors erotica fic titled  _ The Beta Masters.  _ It was a strange middle ground between Omegaverse and a werewolf AU, centering around an original character named Erica. The fic contained almost every overused romance novel trope in the book, played up to a so-bad-it’s good degree only rivaled by  _ My Immortal.  _ This included: purple prose, overly detailed descriptions of characters’ appearances, a heroine repeatedly described as painfully average, and a brooding alpha male love interest with a dark secret.

Of course, this was  _ fan  _ fiction. The AU that comprised  _ The Beta Masters _ ’ setting had the gimmick that one of the UFOD universe’s most central species, the Dianites, were regular werewolves rather than (as many fans affectionately describe them) “goth Wookiees”. The rest of the original books’ space opera setting was largely ignored in favor of a vaguely modern-day Earth vibe.

The love interest was supposedly Daran, a secondary Dianite character from the first book. (For those of you unfamiliar with UFOD, suffice it to say that Daran was Kylo Ren before Kylo Ren was cool.) Arachne described herself as a massive Daran fangirl, but tended to shave off all the nuance of his character in favor of a more stereotypical “brooding alpha male” personality.

_ The Beta Masters  _ quickly gained a unique kind of notoriety in the UFOD fandom. Fans all over Livejournal (including myself) became obsessed with two questions:

  1. Was this an earnest effort by yet another romance novelist wannabe or a clever, cutting satire?
  2. Who was Arachne?



We were quick to realize that if we could do enough sleuthing to answer that second question, we could most certainly enter the first.

Enter The Beta Masters Fan Club: a Livejournal community dedicated to discussing this instant cult classic, and hopefully finding Arachne herself.

An excerpt from the first forum thread on the community is below. I’ve edited it for both length and clarity.


	3. Part Three- Excerpt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tackling forum excerpt format was a bit of a challenge.

_\---TOPIC: Up! Satire or Earnest? (Last Modified 3/17/07)---_

**opticon [MOD]:** Okay, guys, now that our fanclub page is officially up, I want a definitive tally.

Who thinks it was a satire, and who thinks it was an earnest fic? Discuss below.

**helsing42 [MOD]:** First! It’s safe to say that I think it was earnest, lol. If you take any one of those paragraphs out of context, they would 100% look like something you cut out of a pulpy romance novel with a bodice-buster cover. All it needs is someone to do a nice acrylic painting of our swooning brunette heroine! But maybe slap some opal markings on her skin so we know she’s a Hethtian. :P

**WaspWasted:** @helsing42 UGH, don’t get me started on how Arachne just ignores the painstaking canon descriptions of Hethtians as opaline. But I’ve far more issue with how much she BUTCHERS the Worm-Cult into just another strawman against alt/goth people. No self-respecting author messes with the Worm-Cult. There’s no way TBM is not earnest.

**LovettCupcakes:** >If you take any one of those paragraphs out of context, they would 100% look like something you cut out of a pulpy romance novel with a bodice-buster cover.

@helsing42 But that’s the genius of it, isn’t it? If this is a satire (and I’m almost positive that it is), that’s a testament to Arachne’s skill at weaving together all these tired tropes and turning them up to an absurd degree. TBM is like a Frankenstein’s monster, if Frankenstein actually cared about his abomination of a son. XD

>No self-respecting author messes with the Worm-Cult.

@WaspWasted Here’s the thing, though: Arachne *isn’t* self-respecting. Or, at least, she’s not taking herself seriously. I’ve seen people compare the Worm-Cult to those “ermagerd scury goth satanists” a million times before, but Arachne pushes it in the most beautiful way. Just like with everything else about this fic! She’s turned herself into a funhouse mirror, and we don’t care for our warped reflections.

(Not to hate on the Worm-Cult themselves. I know you’re ride-or-die for them, Wasp ;) )

**that-weird-knife-girl:** *raises hand shyly* uhm… is it too late to say i think its somehow both??? O_O like mayb she started out trying 2 rite smth srs, but decided 2 make it a crackfic wen she realized it was kinda stoopid

thats just my opinion tho. idk lol im 2 dumb 2 understand most of this xP

**marleytheghoul:** actually, I agree with @that-weird-knife-girl here. I don’t write much ufod fic anymore, but… y’know when you say something kinda cringeworthy in front of some people you don’t know that well, and they think you’re joking so you just laugh along? that’s what I think arachne did. at least the fanfic equivalent of it. she wrote a dud fic that people laughed at, so she buried the dud under mountains and mountains of crack. i know i’ve done that once or twice.

**Eclipsa98:** hai!!! :D i’m kind of a lurker now that i actually have a life (lol), but imma just post here so u guise know that im on team earnest effort all the way

**Ashe345:** team earnest effort for me as well. also, have any of you heard of a little hp fanfic called “my immortal”? cuz tbm is basically the opposite of that. i want arachne & tara gillesbie to meet irl so they can fight. (place your bets now…)

**kneecapsbobbi:** I’m on the fence at the moment. Call me boring, but overall, I don’t really think it matters what Arachne’s intent was. At least not in the grand scheme of things.

**barnowlpellets [MOD]:** @Ashe345 You’re so right. _The Beta Masters_ is basically the anti- _My Immortal_. Think about it. _My Immortal_ was written by a goth who hates preps; TBM was written by a prep who hates goths. _My Immortal_ was written by, for, and about precocious teenagers; TBM was written by, for, and about lonely adult women. _My Immortal_ was written like an amateur; TBM was written like a pro.

(Sidebar re: Ashe’s remark about the authors meeting: It would be incredibly funny if Tara and Arachne somehow already knew each other IRL. Friends? Enemies? Maybe even Arachne is Tara’s mother. I’m an agnostic WRT both authors’ respective identities, but it’s fun to speculate.)

There’s also the matter of their update schedules. TBM was updated like clockwork on a biweekly basis. _My Immortal_ was seemingly updated at Tara’s whims. Also interesting is that TBM has an actual plot, while _My Immortal_ is much more… let’s be generous and call it “episodic”. Most importantly though? TBM actually _ended._

@opticon Thanks for setting up this page, BTW. I’m stoked (is that what the kids say nowadays? lol) to see where this goes!

**TheHauntedMannequin:** *You feel a chiling presence behind you. You turn around to see a faceless mannequin covered in blood that says*: Tara Gliesbie and Arachne are the same person, foolish mortal. You will nevr know the TRUTH. Reject your hubris… or you are DOOMED…

**60045:** \- .... . .-. . .----. ... / .- / .-. .- -... -... .. - / .... --- .-.. . / -... . .... .. -. -.. / - .... . / -.. --- --- .-.

**boredofhumans:** lol this board is gonna crash and BURN

**opticon [MOD]:** *sigh* Looks like the trolls are here. Sorry about that, guys. I’ve muted them for the time being, but I can’t fully ban them until our admin (@/MisterLightHouse) gets back to me.

**helsing42 [MOD]:** @opticon Come to think of it, you’ve never really said. Do you think TBM was earnest or a satire?

**opticon [MOD]:** Hmm… I haven’t expressed my opinion here yet, because I don’t wanna seem like I’m trying to sway people one way or the other. But honestly? I’m on not only Team Satire, but Team “Arachne is Purposefully Dropping Hints About Her True Identity So That Her Fans Will Find Her”.

She’s not just entertaining us. She’s sending us on a QUEST.


	4. Part Four- Dramatis Personae

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating with just a bit more.

**4.**

So now we are introduced to our cast of characters: 14 forumites who posted in the TBM fan club. I’ll give you a brief taxonomy of the club members:

  * **opticon** (IRL name Nadia) was me. I was one of the three moderators of this group, and though I often found myself maintaining order on the forums, I never received any kind of admin privileges. That honor belonged only to...
  * **MisterLightHouse** (no IRL name given). Though he had very strict rules for what was and wasn’t allowed within the boards, he rarely posted except to make announcements. MisterLightHouse did, however, have an itchy trigger finger for both muting and banning users. A few trolls would come and go, but the most notable were…
  * **60045** and **boredofhumans** (no IRL names given), our more typical trolls. 60045 would often make cryptic posts encoded in ciphers, binary, or Morse code. Some later speculated that this was Arachne herself dropping hints, but this was never confirmed. boredofhumans, meanwhile, was a misanthrope who occasionally posted bait about how much he wanted this board to fail. The bait was rarely taken.


  * **Eclipsa98** and **Ashe345** (no IRL names given) were two friends who rarely posted. Eclipsa quickly left when the drama began to start, but Ashe stayed on to watch it unfold. I managed to contact them as I was doing research for this report, and both expressed a desire for the site to be nuked.


  * **kneecapsbobbi** (IRL name Bobbi) was a friend of mine from a different fan community who was largely inactive through these events. She’s expressed to me that at the time, she thought this was all superficial Internet drama. That being said, she also helped with some of the research for this report, so… thanks, Bobbi.
  * **barnowlpellets** (IRL name unknown, but went by Antonio in other online spaces) was another mod who considered himself the adult of the group. Antonio often found himself trying to de-escalate fights & arguments, as well as discouraging other members from trying to take matters too far. Eventually, though, he cracked under the pressure and left.



This leaves us with the remaining people involved in the fight:

  * **marleytheghoul** (IRL name Marley Finnegan, presumed d.) was auxiliary to much of the conflict, but often assisted the other Arachne hunters in covering their tracks with regards to dubious (and often downright illegal) activity. At several points in my research, I found myself locked out of certain threads for inexplicable reasons, and tracks consistently led back to Marley.
  * **TheHauntedMannequin** (IRL name Jacob Gregorovich, d.). Jacob was one of the younger members of our group, around 16 at the time we set up the page. He started out apparently roleplaying as a slasher-type villain, but quickly dropped the act when he became intrigued with the search for Arachne’s true identity.
  * **LovettCupcakes** (IRL name Ophelia Hale, d.) was firmly in the “satire” camp, and something of an Arachne fangirl. She thus often found herself butting heads with…


  * **WaspWasted** (IRL name Weiss Watson, d.), who was firmly in the “earnest effort” camp, and often obsessed over how Arachne “ruined” UFOD for her.


  * **that-weird-knife-girl** (IRL name Michelle Ogawa, d.) was the second-youngest of our group, only a few months older than Jacob. She often expressed a desire for mod status, but was consistently denied due to being too prone to arguments. Lastly, but most important of all, was… 
  * **helsing42** (IRL name Dante Murphy, d.) was the third mod, who firmly believed that TBM was an earnest effort. He was also the one to suggest we start the Arachne hunt in the first place.



I want to be as objective as possible in my recounting of these events, but now is as good a time as any to establish my opinion: _There is no one culprit here._ Almost all of us, save perhaps for Antonio, were depressed teenagers and young adults trapped in front of our family computers. We needed an outlet, and that outlet became Arachne.


	5. Part Five- Unpacking the Clues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might as well post this chapter while I have the chance. :]

**5.**

_\---TOPIC: Does Arachne Want Us To Find Her?! (Last Updated 4/21/07)---_

**helsing42 [MOD]:** Awwright, folks, I’m making a separate thread, because this is its own question entirely. 

First off, I wanna say that the authenticity question and the breadcrumbs question _do_ go hand-in-hand: if you believe this was satire, you can probably believe Arachne is trying to get us to find her. Likewise, if you believe this was an earnest effort, you probably think there’s no way in hell she’s leaving a trail-- _on purpose,_ that is.

@opticon‘s post in the other thread got me thinking, though. What if we tried to find Arachne? Not dox her, just find her. Maybe we could even interview her, publish the results here for everyone back home?

**opticon [MOD]:** @helsing42 Dante, you mad genius, you.

I think now’s as good a time as any to explain my thinking, so let me lay it out.

Arachne has a bit of a tendency to make typos. (I know, I know, we’ve only been remarking on that for the past _entire time the fic has been up._ ) She spells a few words wrong, makes some grammatical errors, et cetera, all in hilariously badgood ways. But there are some patterns in the typos she makes. Take a look at this sentence from Chapter 1, just as an example.

_ >Living by the sea wasnt all it was cracked up to be, most people thought of bleach blond b*tchy bimbos lounging in the rays of the sun. But the sun never seemed to shine in Lara’s tiny gray hometown huddled next to thw hawbor. _

The “b” and “h” alliteration is pretty cool, but take a look at how the word “harbor” is spelled. It’s not spelled with a “u”, which is how DB Singh spells the same word, the one (1) time he uses it in the original UFOD (because he is British). Arachne also spells “color” and “favorite” without the “u” (both can be found in Chapter 3.) Conclusion: Arachne is probably American.

Do also take note of how she swapped a W for an R. This might just be ol’ Opticon reading too far in, but that smacks to me as a phonetic spelling of a regional accent. A _New England_ accent.

There, in short, is our first clue. Naturally, there are countless others that I could dissect in equal detail, but I wanted to refrain from my usual walls of text so the rest of you could get a better sense of how much thought I’ve put into this (i.e. too much).

**that-weird-knife-girl:** @opticon wat? o_O that cant be rite!!! ive made tht same exact typo like a million times. r & w are liek… rlly rlly close 2 each other on da keybrd. shes prolly american ya but i dont c y shed b usin her regional accent in a fanfic >:/

**WaspWasted:** Hmm… I’m actually gonna have to disagree with @that-weird-knife-girl on this one. I wouldn’t put it past Arachne to write a regional accent phonetically; plenty of badfic writers who have strong accents/dialects IRL tend to make those kinds of slip-ups. And by “plenty of badfic writers,” I mean me as a middle schooler. Dark times, y’all. Dark times.

(See? I did it in a forum post! xD)

**that-weird-knife-girl:** lolwut.

>plenty of badfic writers who have strong accents/dialects IRL tend to make those kinds of slip-ups. And by “plenty of badfic writers,” I mean me as a middle schooler.

@WaspWasted i think thts a you problem :/ :/ :/

**LovettCupcakes:** @opticon You’ve barely even scratched the surface here! For one thing, she spells “harbor” as “hawbor” about 23 more times. (In other words, every single time she says “harbor”.)

For another, check her author’s notes on chapters 4 and 5. She makes those subtle digs at DB Singh for “the typographical whimsy of the English” (ch. 4) and “diluting hot leaf water with dairy products” (ch. 5). The lady’s definitely not a Brit.

>Dark times, y’all. Dark times.

@WaspWasted … Hang on, are you a Southerner? Because if so, that’d explain at least _some_ of your hatred for Arachne. She’s a god-danged Yankee! /j

**WaspWasted:** @that-weird-knife-girl @LovettCupcakes Why yes, I AM from the South. Born AND raised. Not about to say where specifically, but let’s just say I was fortunate enough to not wind up getting my brain poisoned out in the more conservative parts. (Otherwise I wouldn’t even BE here, lol.)

Maybe I have a LITTLE regional spite in me. It’d explain why I don’t like Stephen King, at least. (All that snow up in Maine musta gotten to his head somehow.)

**TheHauntedMannequin:** @WaspWasted ??? *squints suspiciously* what is wrong with stephen king? OR maine??

**WaspWasted:** @TheHauntedMannequin Oh, hey, you dropped the gimmick! Good for you! :P

And no, nothing’s WRONG with Maine. For something to be wrong with it, it has to have a population other than a brain in a jar on the aforementioned horror author’s mantle.

**that-weird-knife-girl:** U GUYS WANNA F**KING GO D:<

**barnowlpellets [MOD]:** @that-weird-knife-girl @LovettCupcakes @WaspWasted @TheHauntedMannequin Alright, break it up. I’ve muted the four of you from posting in this topic for about an hour. This was getting way too off topic, not to mention turning more into an actual argument than playful banter. Take this opportunity to step back, cool off, and maybe take one or two deep breaths.

Back to the topic at hand…

@opticon Care to expand on a few more clues? I’m curious to know your thoughts on that infamous “goodbye kiss” scene, for example.

**opticon [MOD]:** @barnowlpellets Good question! I was planning on unpacking the clues in chronological order, but everyone’s gonna want me to talk about the goodbye kiss, so… Here’s a quick rundown of what I think are the important parts.

Everyone’s already talked about how there are three whole ships in this fic, and how two of them are slash, and how one of those slash ships features a tertiary character who blah blah blah… You all know the drill by now. That stuff is weird, sure, but you know what’s weirder? The goodbye kiss scene is _really good._

For the latter half of the penultimate chapter, Arachne switches to a different writing style entirely. Dialogue and action suddenly dominate over pointless description and inner monologues. All three of the ships suddenly not only have chemistry, but are also in-character! Even our bland heroine, by virtue of saying more than two words without another frickin’ ellipsis, suddenly feels like someone Daran might be drawn to. (That is, a person.)

Then suddenly all three of our couples kiss, and the writing style turns right back into that of the usual fic.

Here’s my theory on the goodbye kiss scene: Arachne didn’t write it. (Or, for those of you on Team Satire: “Arachne” as a persona didn’t write it.)

**helsing42 [MOD]:** Woah! I fall asleep for a hot minute, and this is what I wake up to. No rest for those of us on the Arachne hunt, eh? ;)

@opticon First things first, nice detective work there! I’m a bit skeptical on instinct, especially re: your thoughts on the goodbye kiss scene. But honestly? You’ve got something intriguing there. If all the clues you found are this in-depth, finding Arachne should be a breeze.

Also, @WaspWasted will have to forgive me for this, but my ears perked up at your conclusion that Arachne is from New England. The thing is… _I’m_ from New England. It’s possible that she’s been my next-door neighbor this entire time, and I haven’t realized.

(Don’t worry, WW. If anything, she makes _us_ look bad. XD)


	6. Part Six- Some Background On The Ships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here's a short one. Looks like the next few chapters are gonna be a doozy. If you notice some familiar stuff here, congratulations! You get nothing.

**6.**

Some background on both the ships in question and the “goodbye kiss” scene is necessary, though it might seem like needless esoterica at the moment. They’ll be important for how we talk about the fic itself later.

Though the most important ship in _The Beta Masters_ is undoubtedly that between our bland hood ornament (Erica) and our brooding gothic alpha (Daran), there are two other ships featured in the background of _The Beta Masters:_

  * MirrorMist. This was, and continues to be, one of the most popular ships in the UFOD fandom. For those of you outside this fandom, it’s a ship between our protagonist (a cranky Hethtian named Mirror) and his best friend (a soft-spoken Dianite named Mist). Due to censorship, DB Singh was unable to fully canonize MirrorMist in the main series. He did, however, have Mirror and Mist kiss in a later self-published piece on his website. In TBM, Arachne treats this as a strange background element: seemingly only namedropped to prevent Mirror from becoming romantic competition to Daran.
  * Charon/Tithonus. This one is far more obscure; in fact, it’s agreed that TBM actually popularized this ship in the first place. It features a fan-favorite secondary character (a soft-spoken bureaucrat named Charon from the dying planet Orpheus), as well as an extremely tertiary character, who only ever shows up in an epistolary letter to Mirror (a minor entropy god named Tithonus). Their dynamic in TBM is uncharacteristically poetic and well-written-- for TBM, that is. Charon is far more in-character than the rest of the canon cast, and Tithonus actually seems to have a personality. It’s a stark contrast to the nonexistent chemistry of our heroine’s dynamic with Daran.



People on Team Satire tend to see Charon/Tithonus as the smoking gun that Arachne actually cared deeply about UFOD, and fully knew what she was doing. Meanwhile, people on Team Earnest Effort often point to the clumsy treatment of MirrorMist.

Needless to say, this contrast caused more than a few spats in the TBM fan club.


	7. Part Seven- Escalating Drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning signs begin to appear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I've decided not to abandon this fic after all. Writing badfic on purpose, even badfic excerpts, is very hard.

**7.**

_ \---TOPIC: Thoughts on the Slash Ships in TBM? (Last Updated 5/16/07)--- _

**barnowlpellets [MOD]:** I hope this isn’t  _ too  _ self-indulgent, but I think the depictions of MirrorMist and Charon/Tithonus in  _ The Beta Masters  _ are worth at least some discussion.  @opticon ’s most recent post especially got me thinking about it.

On a halfway personal note, I tend to project a bit onto Charon. His whole arc of learning to accept his powers, the weird Soul of Orpheus thing, and that one nightmare sequence with Mirror (you know the one) all deeply resonated with me. Leave it to DB Singh to write your exact feelings into a 5-minute conversation on a haunted spaceship. 

Ergo, the first time I gave TBM a read, my metaphorical ears perked up when I saw Charon make an appearance. You can probably imagine my surprise when this happened:

_ >”Sorry,” Charon sighed. “I don’t want to keep you for too long, Im just waiting for my boyfriend to get here.” _

_ Daran’s sexy yellow gaze flickered with surprise. “You… have a boyfriend?” Charon smirked inspite of himself and nodded. “Since when?” Daran growled. I could feel his clawed grip tense aroubnd my slender wrist[...] _

_ “Since 3 months ago,” came a phantasmal hiss from over Charon’s shoulder. It was a man dressed in well-worn dark clothes, handsome in a rugged way, despite being shorter and bonier than even me.[...] _

_ “Ah,” Charon murmured, stooping to give the smaller figure a kiss on the cheek, “Tithonus. Right on time.” _

I know people are still pretty miffed at how badly Arachne treats MirrorMist. But (and maybe this is just me) there’s a lot to be said for how narratively well this other ship  _ works.  _ TBM is actually why the one (and only) fanfic I’ve ever written was about this ship.

**opticon [MOD]:** I was actually planning on mentioning this, but I 100% agree with that assessment. There are a few clues embedded in some of this ship’s screen time (so to speak), but I’ll try not to derail the thread just yet.

Also  @barnowlpellets  I actually was recently inspired to write a bit of Charon/Tithonus fic myself. If you like, I can PM you the link.

**LovettCupcakes:** @barnowlpellets Oh dang, good thinking! 

You know, this actually made me realize something. Arachne makes a hell of a lot of jabs at goth/alt women in TBM (see: the Worm-Cult, Ursav’s entire character, the one scene where Regina Black shows up). But look at all the heroic male characters who are still described as “dark”, “brooding”, or both. (i.e. Charon, Tithonus, and Daran himself) Our author seems to have a much higher opinion of goth/alt  _ men.  _ Any thoughts, gang?

**WaspWasted:** @LovettCupcakes  Bit of an Occam’s Razor there. Arachne is a misogynist, just like her ACTUALLY PUBLISHED counterparts. Have you ever READ a romance novel? The authors will bash the hell out of pretty much any female character who isn’t their heroine. So she’s a bit nicer to the guys than the girls. So what? I’m still not about to forgive her for the Worm-Cult. >:/

**helsing42 [MOD]:** C’mon, @barnowlpellets, you’re gonna sing the praises of that one slash ship and completely brush aside how _weird_ MirrorMist is in TBM? Sure, Arachne is drawn to a tertiary character. But pretty much everyone in this fandom has a favorite. (See: WW’s love of the Worm-Cult, my soft spot for Daran, _literally_ _you and Charon._ ) 

She was literally just writing MirrorMist in so she could appease the fandom at large, as well as drop that one God-awful plot thread about Daran being jealous for no apparent reason. People say that no genuinely bad writer would actually care about Tithonus. But I’d argue that no genuinely GOOD author would do… *shudders*  _ that  _ to MirrorMist.

**marleytheghoul:** @helsing42 actually, can you pm me really quick? cuz i have an idea

**that-weird-knife-girl:** >:/ marley dont let the rest of us feel left out

**marleytheghoul:** @that-weird-knife-girl lol, okay, okay. i might as well tell the whole gang now. geez. :P

do you think we should try to meet up irl?

**TheHauntedMannequin:** @marleytheghoul  If we did, we would probably try to Kill Each Other. LOL

But seriously, Id be down to do that. Id be especially excited to see what your Faces look like…

**that-weird-knife-girl:** what?  @TheHauntedMannequin  so yuo can do sum creepy horror movie stuff? O_O liek cut my face OFF???? D:

**helsing42 [MOD]:** @that-weird-knife-girl @TheHauntedMannequin  Kids, kids, break it up. You can do the banter thing in PMs.

@marleytheghoul Hmm… An IRL meetup isn’t a half-bad idea. We could even kill two birds (spiders, if you will) with one stone and meet up IRL to interview Arachne!

**LovettCupcakes:** @helsing42 Oh, that sounds fascinating! I’d love to meet you guys in the flesh.

Also, God, this thread has mutated a bit, hasn’t it? We should probably make a different thread for discussing IRL meetups.

**WaspWasted:** @LovettCupcakes @helsing42  I’d be interested in meeting up IRL. But I wanna get back to ACTUALLY being on-topic, unlike SOME people…

What Cupcakes (Mrs. Lovett? Whatever you want me to call you, lol) said got me thinking… Girl, are you a Charon fangirl? Because THAT would explain why you’re so attached to this fic. Just ignoring all the nasty bits to focus on your favorite handsome pencil-pusher.

**LovettCupcakes:** @WaspWasted Wrong! I think the only die-hard (haha get it?) Charon fangirl here is  @barnowlpellets . I’m not ignoring the nasty bits; I’m seeing them as they truly are.

See the post I made in that first thread:

>(Arachne)’s turned herself into a funhouse mirror, and we don’t care for our warped reflections.

My friend, I’m an  _ Arachne _ fangirl. I admire how she’s able to blur the line between satire and sincerity, enough that some of us (you) can’t tell the difference.

>What Cupcakes (Mrs. Lovett? Whatever you want me to call you, lol) said got me thinking…

My name is Ophelia, thank you very much. (Jeez, I should start putting that in my forum signature.)

**that-weird-knife-girl:** @WaspWasted  what do u mean “some people”???? >:(

_ \---You do not have permission to post in this topic.--- _

_ \---You do not have permission to post in this topic.--- _

**WaspWasted:** @that-weird-knife-girl  Hey now, I’m trying to be CIVIL. What kinda manners are they teaching up there?

**60045:** ..-. .. --. .... - / ..-. .. --. .... - / ..-. .. --. .... -

**boredofhumans:** lmao MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

_ \---You do not have permission to post in this topic.--- _


	8. Part Eight- Admin's Perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this lying around, so I figured I might as well post it.

**8.**

_\---You have entered a private chat with barnowlpellets.---_

**opticon:** Hey! Sorry to bother you; I know it’s probably really late in your time zone. Just had a concern that I thought you might know something about. I was looking through that “Slash Ships” thread, and it was getting pretty chaotic. (You can see for yourself if need be.) I wanted to step in and try to break up the conflict, but it looks like I’ve been locked out of the thread. Did this happen to you, too? Do you know what’s going on? I’d appreciate any light you might be able to shed on the situation.

**barnowlpellets:** Hi, Opticon. Thanks for asking me about this. And no need to worry; you actually caught me at the perfect time. (I’ve been something of a night owl lately.) I checked, and it looks like I got locked out of that thread, too. This is more than a little worrying. (You probably don’t need me to tell you that, though.)

That’s about as much as I know. I’m not sure how much more I can help you on my end, other than to offer you some moral support. It might be wise to bring this up with MisterLightHouse.

_\---You have entered a private chat with MisterLightHouse.--_

**opticon:** Hi. I’m messaging you with some concerns about the “slash ships in TBM” thread. It looks like I’ve been locked out for some reason. Normally, I know you’ve got a strict policy to only PM you in emergencies, but this seems important enough to count.

**MisterLightHouse:** Opticon,

To answer your question, I’ve temporarily muted you from the “Slash Ships” thread (24h) due to a minor violation of our rule against advertising on the TBM discussion board. helsing42 is currently taking care of all conflicts that might have occurred there.

**opticon:** There must be a miscommunication here. Are you talking about the post where I mentioned the fanfic I’d written? All I said was that I’d recently written some Charon/Tithonus. I thought that was in compliance with the rules.

**MisterLightHouse:** Opticon,

The 24-hour ban will remain in place. Please do not message me further on this topic.


	9. Part Nine- Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. This fic isn't dead.

In hindsight, I should have seen this as the first warning sign that things were going wrong. I should have realized that my friends would destroy each other over  _ The Beta Masters  _ if I let them, that MisterLightHouse was a despot, and that I needed to stop the search before it became dangerous. 

I should have left when Antonio did.

But hindsight never saved anyone.

Rather than picking up on the red flags here, I brushed it off as another instance of MisterLightHouse’s itchy trigger finger. Then I began to compile more notes on the breadcrumbs that Arachne was leaving.


	10. Part Ten- Eureka

_ \---TOPIC: More On The Breadcrumb Trail (Last Updated 6/21/07)--- _

**opticon [MOD]:** So, I’ve got some pretty big news.

After being unable to sleep last night, I realized something about certain typos in TBM. Specifically, the typos  _ right after the goodbye kiss scene. _ Now, I know what you’re gonna say. “Opticon, this is a step too far. Arachne has a  _ ton _ of typos in her fic. Why is this bit any different?” Well… after the goodbye kiss scene, there are plenty of spelling errors _ ,  _ sure. But there are also quite a few punctuation typos.

Every so often, after a few major punctuation marks, there are extra periods. Either sets of one:

_ >”What do y _ **_._ ** _ ou mean?” I asked him. _ **_._ **

Or sets of two:

_ >Daran is alway _ **_.._ ** _ s with me. _

“Breadcrumb trail” types such as myself have speculated as to why those are there for a while now. But I actually started taking note of all the extraneous periods, and I realized it looked one hell of a lot like code.

_ Morse  _ code.

My dad has an old book about codes and ciphers lying around, so I dug it up and started translating. If we take the single periods as dots and the double periods as dashes, the end result looks an awful lot like this:

>...- . .-. -- --- -. -

That translates to “VERMONT”.

Unless I’m delirious from sleep deprivation, I think it’s safe to say: F**king EUREKA.

**helsing42 [MOD]:** @opticon  Oh crap, you really are genius! I can’t believe that flew under my nose this entire time. 

This does poke a few holes in the “earnest effort” theory, though… Unless, hmm.  @marleytheghoul once mentioned the idea of TBM being an earnest fic buried under “mountains and mountains of crack.” (That was only a few months ago??? Geez, it feels like years.) I’m inclined to believe she might have been trolling here. Trying to goad us into doing the tinfoil hat thing, maybe? I wouldn’t be surprised. Writing a fic this bad and then sending us on a wild goose chase is EXTREMELY scummy.

But if she does actually live in Vermont, you’ve struck paydirt.

**WaspWasted:** I’ve got a few words to describe this situation that are a LITTLE stronger than “scummy,” but they wouldn’t make it through the profanity filter.

As much regional spite as I’ve got left over, I’d be willing to go up to Vermont to meet my archnemesis Arachne in person. What goes through the mind of the badfic writer who corrupted UFOD for good? I must know.

**LovettCupcakes:** >As much regional spite as I’ve got left over, I’d be willing to go up to Vermont to meet my archnemesis Arachne in person.

@WaspWasted Aw, and here I thought I was your archnemesis! But seriously,  @opticon , you’ve made fandom history on this day. Even more excited about that hypothetical meetup now.

**that-weird-knife-girl:** SQUEEEEEEEE THIS IS AMAZEBALLS!!!1!!

okii but uhm… now i have to look up where vermont is on the map… >_>

**TheHauntedMannequin:** You’ve cracked thew code, but we should Probably Also narrow it down to her Home Town. As well as her house (LOL)

**marleytheghoul:** oh man, this was 100% worth getting pinged. now the true schemes can begin!

_ \---You have a new private message from helsing42.-- _


	11. Part Eleven- A Falling-Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this, as well as the next few chapters, in one sitting. My fingers couldn't leave the keyboard.

_ \---You have entered a private chat with helsing42.-- _

**helsing42:** Okay, I wanna preface this by saying that I’m still on Team Earnest Effort

**helsing42:** And I’m not posting this on the board, because I don’t want to dox myself by accident. Our community is great, but I still don’t trust the trolls to stay under their bridge :P

**helsing42:** But I think I have a lead on Arachne’s location, and if I’m right, she might be my neighbor

**opticon:** Holy crap, really? How’d you figure this out?

**helsing42:** Okay, technically she’s not my neighbor, but she does live near me

**helsing42:** As to how I figured this out, well

**helsing42:** Uh

**helsing42:** *sigh* You’re not gonna believe this, but 60045 PM’d me

**opticon:** No, I believe you. I’ve actually been going back and translating some of his messages from Morse code, and they’re relatively coherent. Cryptic, but coherent. I doubt he’s a bot.

**helsing42:** Oh, phew

**helsing42:** Anyway, he sent me a link to  [ this image ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/781686072299487243/814583706429423636/palette.png)

**opticon:** A link? And you clicked on it?

**helsing42:** Look, in my defense I wasn’t in the most sober state of mind

**helsing42:** And it just looks like a solid block of muddy grey, right? But I looked closer, and realized there were a bunch of different colors that are all subtly distinct

**opticon:** It’s not a solid block of grey, though.

**helsing42:** …

**helsing42:** Okay I might be a little bit colorblind

**helsing42:** That’s not the point, though. I opened the image in an art program & looked at all their HEX values

**helsing42:** And I noticed a lot of 4’s, so I realized it might be a code

**helsing42:** Long story short, the HEX values are actually hexadecimal, and you know what it translates to?

**helsing42:** “VERMOREGAINE”

**helsing42:** That’s, like 10 minutes away from where I live!!!

**opticon:** Woah. And you’re sure this wasn’t 60045 threatening you?

**helsing42:** Let’s be real, if he wanted to dox me, he’d have posted my full name & address on a public thread. If he wanted to THREATEN me, he’d have done it in a code that’s easier to crack. Or just, you know, English :P

**opticon:** This is blowing my mind. I

**opticon:** I think 60045 might be an Arachne sockpuppet. She’s gotten tired of dropping breadcrumbs, so she’s upgraded to leaving a full-on trail. Like Ariadne’s string!

**helsing42:** Who’s Ariadne

**opticon:** A character from ancient Greek mythology. She was the one who gave Theseus a spool of thread so he could navigate the Labyrinth and fight the Minotaur.

**helsing42:** Always the smartest one in the room, aren’t ya

**helsing42:** But we should all definitely start scheduling that meetup now. I’m SUPER psyched to talk to the lady in person

**helsing42:** Like, hands shaking hyperventilating type of psyched. I haven’t been this excited for something since I found a signed copy of Book 3

**helsing42:** What are your thoughts on a date for it? I’m thinking sometime in spring, cuz that’s way less touristy

**opticon:** Hm…

**opticon:** To be honest, I’m starting to have doubts about the meetup.

**helsing42:** What? Why?! This is a HUGE opportunity

**opticon:** It’s hard to explain. The more I’ve been thinking about it, the more I start to feel this sense of dread. There have been a lot of arguments on the boards lately, and barnowlpellets and I keep getting muted, and...

**opticon:** I feel like if we all do meet up, something bad is going to happen.

**helsing42:** *scoff* What, do you think TheHauntedMannequin is gonna show up in a Mike Myers mask? Gonna pull a knife on us? Relax. I have my own knife anyway

**opticon:** This!! This is what I’m talking about! All this petty drama keeps turning into bitter arguments!

**opticon:** You all seem to hate each other, and over what? A goofy bad fanfiction??

**opticon:** Hasn’t it occurred to you that meeting up with people you hate, who you seem to want to inflict actual physical harm on, might not end well???

**helsing42:** Jesus Christ, Opticon. It was just a joke

**helsing42:** If you feel that way, then step down from your mod position. Maybe you don’t care as much about the Arachne hunt as you used to

**helsing42:** I’m going to bed


	12. Part Twelve- A Lull

I didn’t go back on the TBM fan club for a few weeks after that argument. Everything Dante said there left a pretty bad taste in my mouth. Then that few weeks turned into a few months. 

During that time, I did my best to focus on school and my few IRL friends, but it was hard to stop wondering what the TBM fan club was doing. Sometimes that question quite literally kept me up at night.

Finally, in October, I returned to find three massive changes: Antonio had left, I’d been muted from or locked out of all the most recent threads, and MisterLightHouse had stripped my mod status.

The truth was clear as day. Dante, if not the entire TBM fan club, had turned against me.

Bobbi was the one who first prompted me to return to the TBM fan club. She’d almost forgotten about it, until a friend of hers started doing some amateur research on similar drama in a different fandom. Fascinated, she began combing through old message boards, encountered some alarming news that she knew I’d want to see, and emailed me with a series of links. Some of these lead to dead ends or 404 messages (largely the result of Marley covering up evidence). Most ended up in threads that I was muted from. At the time, the most mundane of all turned out to be the most alarming: Antonio’s farewell message.


	13. Part Thirteen- A Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this and ch12 in one go, to ensure better reading flow.

_ \---Topic: Leaving the TBM Fan Club (Last Updated 9/27/07)--- _

**barnowlpellets** **[DEACTIVATED]:** Hi, everyone.

First of all, I cannot express enough how much the TBM fan club has meant to me. Being able to follow a series of clues like Arachne’s trail is a massive relief from the usual stress of my daily life. You’re all great kids, and I’m glad to see the next generation has this many bright minds.

However, the position of moderator has been immensely taxing as of late. I don’t blame any one of you, but it’s clear to me that the number of arguments here have become way too much for only two mods (myself and  @helsing42 ) to handle. I’d ask @/MisterLightHouse to change his policies or recruit new mods, but that’d be a fool’s errand at this point.

Plus, my IRL life has become much busier lately. My volunteer mod work here, my job, and my own sanity cannot all be maintained at once without one of them collapsing.

So as of today, I’m officially leaving the TBM fan club. Consider this my farewell letter.

To quote Charon himself (in UFOD, not TBM):

_ “This is where I leave you, Mirror. My path diverges here, but make no mistake; I am still moving forward.” _

**that-weird-knife-girl:** oh no!!! ;_; im so sad to see u leave!! now its just us kids... 

**LovettCupcakes:** Thank you so much for moderating our humble little fanpage! Good luck in your grown-up life, wherever it may take you.

**TheHauntedMannequin:** :(

**helsing42 [MOD]:** Farewell, barnowlpellets. Send me an email this spring-- we can tell you how the Arachne hunt ended.

**WaspWasted:** Goodbye, barnowlpellets. You were our favorite absentee mod.

**60045:** ..-. .- .-. . / - .... . . / .-- . .-.. .-.. --..-- / ..-. . .-. .-. -.-- -- .- -. 


	14. Part Fourteen- Dante's Final Message

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting the final two chapters in one go as well. Heads up; these are gonna be intense.

On March 3rd, 2008, the night before the murder, my notifications lit up with a PM from helsing42. I was surprised by this; he hadn’t messaged me since our falling-out all those months prior. His radio silence was enough that I’d assumed he blocked me.

I opened the notification to see the following:

_ To the Monopticon: _

_ I see the forest in my dreams, thick and dark and infinite in its complexity. I see the Spider’s silky weave, its fractal-like strands of glistening gossamer grasping at the trees and houses and telephone poles and laptops and desktops all around me. She is there in the center, Ariadne weaving a labyrinth that she may draw us into her venom-drenched mandibles. I see the string wrapped around us, the Hunters, faceless and chained and wrong-formed and scarred and chitinous and even I, bloody-clawed, cannot escape it. She is baiting our blades to land somewhere other than her distended abdomen. You, lighthouse keeper and cryptic messenger and doomed prophet and apathetic witness and unseen lurker and archive burner and sleepless coroner and YOU, Monopticon, have warned us. Yet we charge forward. My blade connects. All you can do is sit there and watch. _

_ With love, _

_ The spider slayer _

Two hours after sending this, Dante deactivated his account.


	15. Part Fifteen- Reconnection

As I was first putting together this report, shortly after finalizing the “Dramatis Personae” section, Bobbi and I managed to track down barnowlpellets’ current social media. I won’t say his current username or real name, for obvious reasons. After some deliberation with Bobbi, I decided to send him an email. I honestly thought he wouldn’t respond. What does one even say, reminded of their involvement in a situation like this?

A few minutes after I sent the email, though, I got my reply.

_ Hi Opticon/Nadia (whichever you prefer), _

_ Antonio here. Thanks for making the effort to reach out to me. I’m honestly a bit surprised you found me; I haven’t gone by “Antonio” or “barnowlpellets” in ages. Nonetheless, I’m glad you did. This’ll hopefully help you tie up at least a few loose ends. _

_ Once I left the TBM fan club, I pretty much quit fandom altogether. There was already too much going on in my life: my job, relationships, my own mental/physical health issues… I don’t want to get much further into it. Let’s just say I didn’t need any more things to worry about. _

_ When I heard the news about the murder, you can probably imagine I was pretty upset. They were good kids who didn’t know what they were getting into. But… I hope it doesn’t sound callous of me to say I wasn’t entirely surprised. You see, a short while after I quit fandom, a close friend of mine (who I’d prefer to leave anonymous) tipped me off that something bad was happening in the TBM fan club. I wanted to log back in so I could try and talk sense into them, but accessing the page at that point was a nightmare for someone who’d deleted his account. (In hindsight, that might have been Marley’s doing.) _

_ My boyfriend recently directed me to your report; it’s very well done. I hope you’re otherwise doing alright. I’m no therapist, but I know this kind of thing can be traumatic. Let me know if you ever want to talk about it. _

_ Sincerely, _

_ O.B. _


End file.
